In the two-and-a-half years since I started my transition, one of the hard truths that I’ve had to learn is that “I can’t trust myself”. It may seem like a fairly extreme statement, but it’s something that I find I need to keep reminding myself on a regular basis, to the point it’s basically become some kind of mantra. Let me explain:
Dysphoria is a heck of a thing to experience. At times it’s quite manageable, but other times it’s like an insidious shadow that creeps into my every day and causes untold stress and anxiety. On those darker days, it’s impossible to see myself in the mirror and not want to cry. Dysphoria taints any perception of myself, and makes it quite difficult to maintain any sense of confidence in who I am.